Just finished watching Mirai Nikki last night. For some reason, I really can’t get it out of my head. I keep on wanting to hear the opening and ending songs. I don’t know what to feel about the ending? Generally, I think the whole parallel worlds things was kind of a disappointment, I really liked the show before I saw the conclusion. I especially disliked the happy ending. I just feel like it was out of place and forced. My expectations were not met and I guess that’s why I’m so worked up about it? The resolution could have been better.
Innocence is such a fragile thing. Once lost, it can never be recovered.
I just recently realized that my youngest brother is growing up. He’s 12. As much as I hate to admit it, he’s not a little boy anymore. I overheard him talking with his friends about overly mature things (which I doubt he understands). Back when he was still in elementary, I never really approved of the people he calls “friends” because they seemed like a bad crowd who would only drag my brother down with them.
Now, I feel like my fears are coming true.
His academics are not doing as well as we’ve all hoped and now his character is being tarnished too. I know that as an older sister, I nor my other sisters nor my parents will never be able to keep the world from corrupting him. We all become corrupted one way or another.
It’s scary to think that I don’t know him at all. At school, he shows a different side of him but at home, he shows something totally different. I fear that he’s not being real to us. It makes me wonder how much I truly know about him. Despite all these uncertainties, I want to be able to be someone he feels comfortable enough to show his real self. We may not be thrilled to know what he does or what he thinks but I’d rather that he doesn’t hide from us. We won’t judge you, I can promise that.
Even though my other sisters and I bully him a lot, he’ll always be our little brother. We’ll always want to protect him. He may think that he has no comrades since he’s the only boy among us, but we really do care and want the best for him.
My heart feels broken and I feel like crying. I think I’m overreacting but when I think of how he might turn out badly, I can’t help but feel really sad. It may still be too soon to tell but I suppose I’ve always hoped that he would never grow up. Or in the very least, he wouldn’t grow up too fast. My brother’s got a bright future ahead of him and I hope that he’s smart enough to discern which choices will get him closer to achieving his dreams. I don’t want him to miss out on opportunities, on chances, on life.
Being powerless to change your situation has got to be one of the worse things ever. I’ve never felt so restricted before. The very place I call home is at the same time my prison cell. I’ve been here for 18 years, 2 months and 14 days. When can I leave?
Every rule that has been imposed, I have followed. But when they interfere with my personal goals, I simply do not have any patience left. I am absolutely pissed when my time is being wasted. I have my own life to worry about, so learn how to do things by yourself. Get someone else to be your type writer.
It’s my time. It’s my life. Not yours.